Krizia

The following riddles are made by Krizia (I slightly changed Krizia’s 2nd one):

 

A woman has seven children. Half are boys. How? Hint: The woman has an equal amount of boys and girls.

 

You were in a running race in the Olympics. You pass the  person. Where are you now?

 

What cheese is made backwards? (There are two answers)

 

What are the next three letters of this pattern; ottffss_ _ _?

 

What do these three have in common; Spiderman, Moses, a Cabbage Patch Kid?

 

What dies half of its life, lives the rest. Dances without music, breathes without air?

 

What two states have their state name in the capital.

Bacon Tree

There were these men from Mexico stuck in the desert; Pedro and Fernando. Then Fernando spots a bush full of food. He says “It’s a bush! We’re saved! We are SAVED!”

But Pedro said “Nah, no, nada, não! It’s just a mirage! It’s just a mirage”

They get closer.

“It’s a bacon TREE! It’s a bacon TREE!” says Fernando.

“Ding-Dong! Try again! It’s just a MIRAGE!!!!!!” Shouts Pedro.

They get even closer. They both see it. “IT’S A BACON TREE!! IT’S A BACON TREE!!” they both shout.

They get closer. “IT’S A BACON TREE!! IT’S A BACON TREE!!” they both shout but this time Pedro sounded a bit confused and puzzled. Suddenly, Fernando says “I’m getting some bacon!”

“NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t go Fernando!”

But it was too late. Fernando went up to the tree and gets shot but does not die. He comes back and says “That’s not a bacon tree, that’s a(n) _________!”

Fast Car

There’s a policeman having a donut next to the freeway and then…WHOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!! A car goes at 400 km per hour and goes so fast the donut slips out of the policeman’s hand. He cries, but only for a few seconds. He rushes into his car and the speedometer goes aroung 4 times (his spedometer has only 100 km per hour)!! He eventually catches up to the driver and tells him to pull over. He obeys. He runs to the car and says “Two things:

One; Why did you steal my donut?!

Two; Why did you go so fast?!

May I see your driver’s licence please?”

“Sure”

He inspects. “My second question; Why did you go so fast?!”

“Oh yes! This is a special licence! It says I can go at any speed I want to!”

“Where?”

“Here were it says________________. And oh yes, here’s your donut!”

Compliments

SPECIALS MENU:

FREE PEANUTS

WINE AT 1/2 PRICE!

 

 

There is a man having a beer in a bar. He’s the only one there (excluding the bar attendant). Suddenly, out of nowhere, avoice says “Hey, waitor, that’s one flamin’ shirt!”

“Sorry, but I didn’t here that, could you say that again?”

“I said, ‘Hey waitor, that’s one flamin’…” The voice stops…

“Whatday’a thanking me for?!”

“I don’t know?!” says the man sitting down.

“You just said I have a flamin’ thing”

“Uhhhhhhh, no I didn’t!?”

“What ever…”

He turns around. Then again:

“Awesome shoes mate! Whered’ya get ‘em?”

“What!!!?” says the bar attendant. “Are you thanking me AGAIN?! And what for THIS time?!”

“Nuthin’ “

“AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!”

Turns around and…:

“Not to bother you but I love that apron!!!”

“GGGGGRRRRRRAAAAAAWWWWWWWLLLLL!!!!!!!!! SSSSSSSSNNNNNNNNAAAAAAARRRRRRRLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!” barks the attendant. “Wait”, he says calmly, “Look! I think I figured it out it must be ____________________!”

Bunny’s Death

There was a happy family driving along when suddenly…THUD! A loud crash. The family quickly revved (or what ever you call it) and sees a dead bunny. So then a little girl hopped out of the van and said “DADDYKILLEDTHEBUNNY, DADDYKILLEDTHEBUNNY!”. So the man goes to the back of the van and gets a random spray (without seeing what it was labled) to pretend to his daughter that he was going to save the bunny and so he sprayed it and…”DADDYSAVEDTHEBUNNY, DADDYSAVEDTHEBUNNY!”. The rabbit started to hop and then wave, hop and then wave (this happened for about 3 mins) so the family stared with their mouthes open. So the wife says “What is that can made of?!”

 

Please answer what it was labled…

Mozart

What did Mozart do?

(note that this a riddle meaning no he did not conduct music for this matter)

Suns and Clouds

A man lived on the 14th floor of an h/motel. On sunny days he went to the third floor using the elevator and took the stairs the rest of the way up to his room. However, on rainy days he took the elevator up to the 14floor.

Why and how?

Baby

A baby only knew how to speak backwards. The only words s/he knew how to speak were: dad, mum, racecar, pup, gum, gig, gag, poos, poop, eye, soup, and toc.

What words did he know?

The Bus Driver

Imagine you are the bus driver in the following riddle.

A bus diver picks up seven people at a  bus stop.

All the people have different colored T-shirts;

Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet.

What is the color of the bus driver’s eyes?

The Blind Man

A blind man asks for a cup of coffee. He takes a sip and says it is too cold, so he asks a waitress to bring back a new cup of coffee. So the waitress goes back into the kitchen and only heats the same cup of coffee. The blind man says it is the same cup of coffee. He is right.

How did he know?